Awfully bad cheesy porn, you have been warned.

[x_sister_grimm]

Two words, dick attack.

And before you scandalize yourselves, is more on the ridic funny sidethan the actual nsfw one. Still, try not to get caught reading this, which might be difficult considering just how hilarious is gets.

Comments

[x-korvus.livejournal.com]

I do not really understand... any of that.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

All I can say is...

[x-korvus.livejournal.com]

I do not understand that either.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Okay I was messing with you with the gif.

But the other thing? Maybe is for the best you don't get it for now. Just trust me, it's really funny when you actually compare it to, you know, actual sex. And physics.

[x-korvus.livejournal.com]

Physics I am familiar with. And abs, which I have. I can not gallop upon them nor do they pulse. That appears to be professionally published. I am not sure why it is funny but I do see why it would be disappointing.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

It's hilarious because it's completely impossible to happen, so when you picture it in your mind, it's just funny. Think a little less dude.

Also yeah, there are way too many people that think they can write in this world.

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

It is funny because it is a professionally published novel which is supposed to be a only slightly unrealistic and fantastic description of sex but in reality, it is a poorly written description of ridiculous sex and the word choices are simply so absurdly wrong that they are really really very funny.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

That's what I said.

[x-tarot.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I find that explaining cultural concepts in a slightly different way each time helps with comprehension. Of course, it did never work on Manuel, so perhaps not.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

well I guess. Unless he understands two different things and gets more confused. That would be bad.

[x-cypher.livejournal.com]

Which raises the question of why -you- are reading this at work, hm? ;-)

(pretty sure I heard Cammie snickering to herself and muttering 'dick attack' when she thought nobody was around the front desk to hear her)

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

It just happened to appear. In like, a dashboard. Not mine. Because I don't check that sort of stuff, no.

Oh so I wasn't hearing things.

[x-network.livejournal.com]

ohmygosh Nico!

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

What?

[xp_daytripper]

Not exactly minor-friendly, Grasshopper.

That being said, I think I could write better sex scenes back when I was fifteen and could barely write my own name.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Nothing kids can't top five minutes into the Internet.

Anyone should be able to write better. Apparently not though.

[x-network.livejournal.com]

That is just ... I don't even know. My cheeks are both red and hurting from laughing too.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

I kinda forgot. I hope this hasn't traumatized you for life. It really doesn't work like that.

[x-network.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, it hasn't, and I didn't think it does. If it did, wow.

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Because it's ridiculous! But very funny.

[x-meggan.livejournal.com]

After I finally stopped laughing and staring and laughing some more, I could only think one thing. Great Galloping Abs is a phrase I have to use now. Somehow. Somewhere. Sometime. I have to find an excuse for it!

[x-staffofone.livejournal.com]

Yes, this pleases me.